>> The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
>>
>> The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his
>> attorney.
>>
>> The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
>> full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
>> gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
>>
>> I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
>> demonstration?'
>>
>> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
>>
>> Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
>> eye.'
>>
>> The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
>>
>> Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
>>
>> Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
>> other eye.'
>>
>> Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
>>
>> Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
>>
>> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
>> with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
>>
>> 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
>> dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
>> wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
>>
>> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
>> decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
>> agrees again.
>>
>> Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
>> strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the
>> other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
>>
>> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
>> loss into a huge win.
>>
>> But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
>>
>> 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
>>
>> 'Not really,' says the attorney 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd
>> been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he
>> could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about
>> it!'
Watch "Desperado"... a different take on that joke, but a hilarious scene! One of my favorites.